Chemo cocktail (my cancer treatment)

Ingredients:
3 doses Taxotere
3 doses Herceptin
3 doses Fluorouracil
3 doses Epirubicin
3 doses Cyclophosphamide



How to apply:

1. Take 1 dose each of Taxotere and Herceptin. Administer every three weeks, three times ONLY.
2. Take 1 dose each of Fluorouracil, Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide. Administer every three weeks, three times ONLY.

To begin mid-late Jan 08.
Once chemo cocktail has ended begin round of radiotherapy.
Instructions for radiotherapy to follow in the new year after visit to radiotherapist.

http://www.medsafe.govt.nz/Consumers/CMI/t/taxotere.htm
www.breastcancernetwork.org.nz/pages/herceptin_FAQ.html
www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Fluorouracil
www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Epirubicin
www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Cyclophosphamide

Thank you for the love (Fa'afetai mo le alofa)

My dear friend Margaret challenged me to put myself out there and encouraged me to start this blog as there was to be some 'serious money' to be fundraised.
As I am technically challenged and will eventually be drained from my treatments Margaret has put herself out there for me and offered to manage my blog page. An offer that I have accepted. Thanks Margz!!

A kick up the backside to start a blog, an offer to manager my blog and then following it up with a very generous gift of love and support.
The old saying 'actions speak louder than words' ring true with Margaret and her family.
Thank you so much Margerat, Ueta and Hannalei for kickstarting my fundraiser with your generous gift of love and support.

What is Herceptin?

Herceptin contains the ingredient trastuzumab and is an anti-cancer agent.
Herceptin belongs to a class called monoclonal anitbodies.
Herceptin is used to treat a certain type of metastatic (spreading) breast cancer.
Some people with this type of breast cancer have a large amount of protein called HER2 on the cancer cells. Herceptin attaches itself to these HER2 proteins (or receptors) on the cancer cells to stop the growth and mulitplying of these cancer cells.

To find out more about Herceptin you can visit http://www.cancernz.co.nz/

Rubber meets the road

Oncology appointment. Before meeting with the oncologist I was given homework to complete and to send back to his office.
The very last question was around the level of disclosure. I was to state the level of information I would appreciate eg., full, frank and open discussion or would there be issues I would not be ready to discuss yet?
Me being me stated I wanted full, frank and open - you know grab the bull by the freaking horns and let's just get on with the damned thing.
One hour and ten minutes later I now have more decisions to make. The only upside to that is that I have more time to raise $80k should I choose the full 12 month course of Herceptin.
Yes I am weighing up my options as to whether I wish to risk heart failure and some other 'lovely stuff' if I complete the full 12 month course or the 50/50 chance of cancer not reoccuring. Of course the biggest downside to that is that should it reoccur within 10 years it comes back more aggressive and it will be just a matter of time...
I'm a fighter and I won't have statistics dictate my life.
I need to make the right decision for myself, accept and live with it with no regrets either way. I will be getting down on my knees regularly to do some real soul searching and to find that inner peace that I require for this one.
Tonight I didn't turn on the Christmas tree lights. Note to self: life must continue on as normal as possible.

Crossroads

August 2007 I had coffee with an 'acquaintance' that I had met through netball earlier in the year. I had no idea it would flourish into the most important friendship and completely change my life.
Our daughters were selected for the same representative team; we loved the sport; we were regular sideline supporters and while away 'on tour' so to speak, I was texting updates of the tournament back to Terry* in Auckland.
Terry* shared with me her cancer diagnosis and I offered my support in any shape or form. I wanted to do so much but I started doubting if it was appropriate and then my intentions turned into weeks of no contact and then guilt set in because I had left it too long.
I recall all too well ending our coffee catch up saying to Terry* 'you call me when you are ready' jumping into my car, lighting up a Marlborough Lights ciggie and then driving off feeling so devasted and absolutely helpless and useless. Words are empty if they are not followed up with actions. Note to self: In future I will ask 'when can I come to visit you?' and then bloody make sure that I call to ask 'what time can I come?'.
September 25, I sent Terry* a text wishing her all the best for the masectomy etc etc etc.
Almost a month later the next time I speak to Terry* we are sharing breast cancer and masectomy experiences. I mean how cruel, crazy and freaky is that!!
Our friendship was forged because of our personal tragedies but I don't think I have laughed so much or hard in such a long time on a regular basis. Along with the love and support from my wonderful family and friends I have been doublely blessed having Terry* to share, talk and cry with.
I believe everything in life has a purpose or happens for a reason. Crossroads noun place where roads intersect
(*Terry, not real name)

Day 59 and counting...

It's been 59 days since I found the lump in my breast, 54 days since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and 19 days since my masectomy.
I have almost a step by step guide of what happens when one is diagnosed and along the way I have educated, if you like, my family and friends around me too about the in's and out's of having breast cancer.
Tragedy has reunited me with an old school friend and cousins that I grew up with but lost contact while growing up making our own families; cemented new friendships with great people both my husband and I have met through school or sports, engaged us in making new long lasting friendships, shown me the meaning for true friendship and made me appreciate my loving, supportive family more.
No matter what there will always be positives in all aspects of my life and they are all worth celebrating.

I wish to thank all the wonderful staff I came into contact with at both Auckland Surgical Centre and Brightside Hospital who helped me through what could have been a traumatic recovery but wasn't.
You guys just rock!

D-day the Surgery

November 22, 2007
Before walking through the 'doors of no return' I was surroundered by my supportive family and friend *Terry and her daughter who wished to be there to support me through my surgery at Auckland Surgical Centre.
Filling out forms, being questioned by two nurses, aneathesitist and both my surgeons was routine before my masectomy. Sitting in my sexy gown, matching cap and white surgical stockings in a small waiting room with my husband I am incredibly calm until walking away from him waving good bye.
It was the most surreal experience waking up four hours later having felt absolutely nothing and knowing that my life would never be as it was before my surgery.
A breast reconstruction was an option that I chose to have at the same time as my masectomy. I thought if I could help it I only wanted to have one surgery so just give me a triple whammy. Along with the masectomy I had a mastopexy on the other breast.
When you've no choice about certain things in your life one must look at the positives. Mine after my breast cancer diagnosis: a pair of new 'gals' at almost the age of 40 YIPPEE! I wouldn't have gotten them in a million years had it not been for breast cancer and that is the plain and honest truth.
Celebrate everything in life and look at the positives.

My quest begins...

October 18, 2007
9:00am
I'm looking at my doctor for a sign that my fears were unwarranted. Of course when he starts drafting a referral letter to St Marks Breast Clinic my hopes start to waiver
11:00am
I'm wrapped in a St Marks forest green gown in the waiting room pretending to be interested in the Herald...
11:15am
One mammogram later (I can see why women don't like them much but hey...) I am then shuffled into the ultrasound room with a lovely Beverley walking me through what will happen.
11:20am
During the ultrasound my eyes were fixed on Beverley's face looking for any sign that I should be concerned but she's a professional and she doesn't give anything away. Not long after this has been completed I'm informed a core biopsy will be necessary as a core biopsy will confirm our next move.
11:40am (approx)
Beverley leaves to prep for the core biopsy and suddenly the room is claustrophobic and I am slowly engulfed by the enormity of what may lie ahead. Moments after the core biopsy has been completed Beverley gently places a hand on my lap and in the most tenderest tone says, "Sarvs, I am so sorry to say that the biopsy has revealed the lump is cancer."
I'm asked if anyone knows that I am there. Tearfully I explain no as I wanted to do this on my own. Wrong decision.
October 19, 2007
2:00pm
After a very tearful night and morning hubby and I decide not to wait until after the long weekend to find out if the cancer is benign or malignant so we found ourselves sitting at St Marks Breast Clinic waiting for my results. My whole entirity prayed the cancer was benign.
2:15pm (approx)
Beverley escorts us both into the room where I sat howling into my hands for what seemed like a lifetime the day before and just as she had done the first time looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Sarvs I am very sorry to have to tell you the cancer is malignant."
The rest is a tearful blur but this time I am relieved to have hubby with me.