Deja vu

So one week ago today I was sitting outside oncology an hour and half before my chemo appointment grinning from ear to ear gearing to get my last chemo done and dusted. As predicted I felt rotten without too much delay shortly after.
3 days after my last chemo I'm being wheeled back to Ward 64 for a 5 day stay. Deja vu.
Ward 64 itself is actually dotted with lovely nurses who you welcome to your bedside at midnight and sparrows fart to do your 'obs' because of their nightingale bedside manners. It's also dottered with young looking doctors who I would imagine entered medical school fresh out of nappies. I had a gorgeous looking Asian doctor who looked all of 20 trying to find out why I was there. In the middle of my heart wrenching explanation, she snorted up a honking load of snot without blinking an eye and looked at me as if to say 'continue please'...um it didn't quite go with the beautiful skin, exquisitely applied make up, expensive perfume, the trendy hair do and the clothes.
As expected you get chatting to your roomies about your medical rap sheet (but you wait for the green light from them first) and listen intently to theirs for hope and answers.
Majority of my rap sheet conversations have always highlighted positives in my own experience.
Be careful when you talk to anyone with life threatening diseases that you don't unconsciously talk them into negativity by assuming you know what they are feeling.
When someone told me that they know I would be finding hospitals depressing I understood that was their take. Hospitals are not depressing, it can be people's attitudes.
One of my roomies unfortunately started grating on me, the second to last day of my stay. That was after hearing her rap sheet told to every nurse, every visitor and even our visitors time and time again.
Swapping rap sheets is almost an art because you must be able to do it without the 'pity me' tune. Plus then you have to remember that there are only curtains to block out the doctors version of your situation - as I discovered can be totally different to what this roomie was rapping to us!
Hosptial food leaves much to be desired and I am now officially petrified of needles but generally I feel safe and know I am being fussed over with good intentions. I mean there really is no other place where I can sit in a cafe over a coffee or browse through mags in a shop in my blue slippers, striped pj's and pink gown completely bald without being put in a straight jacket and arrested.
Roomie A started to lose her hair today. I know the emotions that go with it because I have been there and so it was great to be able to share with her mostly because she wanted to know. Not dwelling on it Roomie A booked an appointment with the wig place to shave it off and grab her wig.
Roomie B was given bad news today that no cancer patient wants to hear but her optomistic attitude was one of well I won't be hanging around here for a decision I got things to do! I've lived a good life and I will continue to do so.
Roomie C I hope will be able to rap a more positive one to others she engages with in life.
Roomie D, that's me. I turned 40 last month and decided to postpone it until next year. I can't wait!!!